10 Weeks and Exhausted

10 weeks already!  Where has the time gone!?  I am officially in my 10th week, my baby is the size of a prune and I have a little belly showing already that I have to work on hiding.  I have been nothing less than exhausted since finding out I was pregnant.  I could probably live on my couch or in my bed and sleep forever.  I thought I would be able to keep up with my workout routine, but at a lighter pace, and that is currently not the case.  I had one good week, two weeks ago where I went everyday for 6 days, but then I crashed again and haven’t been at all last week.  I can’t even bring myself to do an at home workout.  My tank is empty.

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I’ve experienced several symptoms so far but nothing unbearable.  I have been very lucky with regards to morning sickness and I have not experienced any at all.  I think I’ve had a couple waves of nausea, but not in awhile and a couple moments of light-headedness.  I find that as long as I don’t let myself get hungry and continue to eat throughout the day, I am perfectly fine.  My boobs feel like they’re growing at a rapid rate.  I have pulled the old bras out of storage fit right back into them.  If my boobs keep growing at this rate, I will not have any bras to turn to soon and may just switch permanently to comfy sports bras, which I prefer anyways.  No one likes bras (girls), and when you add permanent tender boobs to the mix, it’s way worse.

Two symptoms that I’ve really noticed are acne and hair growth.  I have such bad acne now and it’s on my face, chest and shoulders.  My hair growth had sped up drastically.  I feel like I have to shave my legs every other day instead of every four days.  Saliva is a little excessive as well.  Even though I’m not nauseous, I’ve still got excess saliva.  I do find that I get very warm/sweaty at night time and tend to wake up drenched in sweat, even though I went to bed freezing.

Yesterday I spent the day painting what is currently the office but will soon become the nursery.  That took a lot of energy out of me, and I have to go back and do a second coat today.  I’m hoping I can find the energy because I am once again exhausted.  I choose a dark teal colour and am looking to have all white furniture to make it all pop.  I’m very excited for the finished product.

I haven’t really been having cravings I don’t think, but I find that if I smell something yummy or get an idea of a food in my head, I need to eat that for my next meal.  I will become fixated on it.  This past Friday it was Chinese food.  I don’t even eat Chinese food anymore as I cut it when I cut the bad carbs.  I’ve been eating a ton of bread again, which I know hasn’t been the greatest but sometimes I find it the easiest, quick snack to make a piece of toast when I’m getting hungry and know I need to eat something before the nausea kicks in.

I have my first appointment with my midwife next week.  Yes, it’s late for a first appointment but my husband is away and I was waiting for him to get back so we could go together.  I have disclosed to them that I would like to avoid having an ultrasound done and would like not to have them use the doppler on me.  They did not seem to keen on that, and have said if I do go that route, that I will not be able to do an at home birth because we don’t know what kind of risks there might be without the ultrasounds.  I have time to decide what I would like to do in the end, but I want to ensure I do all my research first.

I knew if I ever became pregnant that I would definitely be one of those ‘hippie moms’ who does things as natural as possible.  I understand I may be faced with some judgement and opinions on these topics, but I have done my research first.  I am a non vaxxer.  I was vaccinated until kindergarten and after that my mom stopped.  I will not be vaccinating my child and thankfully I also have a husband who is on board for this.

I’ve done my research behind mid-wives vs. OBGYN’s and I’ve chosen a mid-wife.  As I have a previously diagnosed condition, the midwife may not accept me.  They are not familiar with Adenomyosis, but they plan on doing research and they may deny me, which will be upsetting if that is the case.  I did not think I could get pregnant.  I successfully got super healthy and boom, baby appeared.

I am also looking to have as non-invasive of a pregnancy as possible.  I tried to do research on this, and it was hard to find.  I’ve read lots of research on the dangers of ultrasounds, but I struggled to find other moms who talked about their experiences with doing non-invasive pregnancies.  I’m hoping to be another voice for this advocacy as we tend to follow the standard schedules our doctors recommend, not truly knowing the dangers of what we might be doing.  I’m hoping this blog will be helpful to some of you, and I hope you ask questions and do your research.  There’s lots out there, our doctors just don’t always disclose it to us.

I am also O negative blood type, and my doctor wants me to get the Rhogam shot.  I will talk about this later on as well, as it is another immunization type shot and there are studies behind it.



Surprise – 2 pink lines

Today marks 4 weeks pregnant.  When my period was late, I didn’t think that I was actually pregnant.  I had a couple bouts of spotting when I was supposed to get my period, and a couple days of spotting leading up to it.  Spotting has always been normal for me; my period has been irregular for quite some time and I think it was due to the amount of stress I was under for the past year.  However, when I looked at my period tracker app and it said 6 days late, but my boobs were tender, I got a little bit nervous.  I thought it was coming because my boobs always get tender leading up to my period, but it just didn’t.  Spotting stopped and my period never started.

Finally, I went and bought a pregnancy test.  Sure enough, two pink lines appeared.  My boobs are tender because that’s the first sign of pregnancy.  My mind was spinning.  I didn’t plan for this, I wasn’t prepared for this.  I don’t even know how to handle this news.  I had a few good cries.  And to think they suggested removing my uterus and left me with a feeling of not being able to get pregnant.

Now it’s time to accept and embrace.  I’m having a baby.  It still doesn’t feel real.  I have my first doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and maybe that’s when things will start to sink in?  So, I wanted to document how I’ve felt throughout this process because I couldn’t find much out there with regards to adenomyosis and pregnancy.  There is a lot of ‘high risk’ concerns but no ‘real life’ stories.  I’m completely terrified because I have no idea what to expect.  I’m nervous because I feel like my body is still healing from my previous issues.  Now, I have to change my entire mentality.

One morning on my way to work, I had a wave of nauseous come over me.  I thought I was going to puke in my car and have to turn around.  It was the weirdest feeling for me because I never get sick.  I might get a cold because I’m under a lot of stress but I can’t tell you the last time I had the flu.  The feeling passed and the rest of the work day was fine.  That was before I knew I was pregnant.  Once I found out, everything made sense.

During my 3rd -4th weeks of pregnancy, I had never felt more tired in my life.  I’m a very active and energetic person, I go to the gym daily and I love playing sports.  I couldn’t do any of that.  I could barely make it through the work day and I was now going to sleep by 9pm at the latest.  I had only one other wave of nauseous in the morning which passed.  My tummy has been very active though.  Feels like there’s constant grumblings going on.  Sometimes it’s like baby cramps and feels like your body is trying to digest, but it’s constantly feeling like that, not just after meals.  Nothing painful or unbearable.

I think I’ve worked out 3-4 times in the last two weeks.  My body does feel tired all the time.  I am taking it very slow as I’ve read the first trimester is very taxing on the body.  I’m hoping that as I progress through, I will be able to keep my activity levels up at the gym throughout this pregnancy.

My Goals:

  • Stay active
  • Be positive
  • Embrace
  • Research
  • Keep my hormonal outbursts in check
  • Don’t panic
  • Document the process

You can follow along in my bump process through Instagram here

My struggles with Adenomyosis

It all started when I was 22 years old.  My internal health concerns.  I started to spot constantly outside of my monthly flow.  Then the pain started and everything hurt down there.  I went to the doctors and they didn’t want to look at me.  No exams, no tests.  They just assumed it was my birth control and said lets just try a different kind.  Nothing got better.  So, I went to a different doctor.  He examined me and found that my cervix was inflamed pretty badly.  He described it as looking very angry, but we didn’t know what was causing it.

The doctor instantly wanted to give me the HPV vaccine and I refused.  I had to explain to him that I did not to do vaccines.  Let the waves of judgement commence.

Let the years of testing and different doctors begin.  I was tested for everything under the sun.  I was sent to doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist.  Tried different birth controls but they only seemed to make it worse.  After 2 years of trying different birth controls, I finally went off birth control permanently.  As soon as I went off birth control my periods regulated and the spotting stopped.  The pain was still an issue though and so was bleeding during any examination.

I finally went for laparoscopic surgery to see if they could see anything.  Just some scar tissue and enlarged blood vessels.  Given their findings they diagnosed me with Adenomyosis and said there wasn’t a whole lot they could do for me.  Adenomyosis, now that’s a scary word.  What does that even mean.  Google did not tell me a whole lot about this disease at all.  My options were to remove my uterus to hopefully ease the pain or insert an IUD which has so many horrible side effects.  I wouldn’t consider either.  That was the last time I visited the doctors for help as they said they didn’t know how to help me further.

I started seeing a Natural Path who did find that I had a stagnant liver.   Not only that but I was estrogen dominant and needed more progesterone.  One of the side effects of birth control is becoming estrogen dominant.  We started working on that in hopes it would kick start some other things, however because she wasn’t covered under my benefits, I had to stop going due to cost.  Back to square one.  I was active with the gym and ate what I thought was fairly healthy, but I couldn’t seem to lose the weight.  I was just always bloated looking.  8 years in total I suffered with the pain.

I couldn’t talk about it with anyone.  How embarrassing.  My sex life was affected as we never knew if it was going to be a good day or bad.  Thankfully I had a very patient and understanding boyfriend who supported me through it all.  When I first started this journey, there wasn’t much information out there and doctors didn’t know what to do.

Finally, I found other people online who were suffering with similar things and what they were able to do about it.  At the beginning of 2017 I kicked my health into high gear and cut all the shit (minus the alcohol).  No more bad foods.  I had cut out fast food about 7 years ago, but cutting bread, rice and pasta was the most difficult now.  They had to go.  No more processed foods, no more bad carbs, flour, wheat, etc.  My gym workouts where switched up as well.

Instantly, within a month I was down 8lbs.  Within the year, I had lost 25lbs in total and 20% body fat.  It just dropped so easily.  All of a sudden, the pain was pretty much gone.  In my personal option, I think the birth control really messed up my system and I will never recommend it to anyone ever.  I think the shitty foods that we constantly eat just add to the issues that we are experiencing in our bodies.  There’s no more nutrients in the fast food/frozen food, we are starving our bodies of the good stuff.

One thing I openly said all the time is ‘I’m never having children’.  It was not a secret.  Throughout this entire process I believed I could not get pregnant.  It was drilled into my head that was no longer an option.  I would watch those around me get pregnant and be excited and I would watch those around me get pregnant and abort the babies.  It was hard for me, hurt deep down, that I didn’t get a say, the choice was taken away from me.

I started to lie to everyone about how I felt.  I couldn’t talk to people about this ‘disease’ I was suffering from.  I couldn’t let them know I couldn’t have kids.  It was easier to change my mentality to saying, I don’t want kids.  This would keep people off my back and I could just say that anytime someone asked me.  I literally convinced myself and my now husband that I didn’t want children.


New Year, New Me?

What can I say about 2017?  It has been one of the most hectic years of my life.  I’ve had some doozy (sticking with that word) years but this one comes close to topping the cake.  I put a lot of pressure on myself when planning things and I can be an emotional bundle of joy (sarcasm) and can sometimes take things personally.

While I will own that I’m not perfect and I try to remind myself after all the feels take over, that everything is an experience.  These are stories, that I will always have to tell.  Some I will look back and say ‘what was I thinking’, some I will say ‘while that was tough, I’m happy it happened’ and then there will be my favorites of ‘Thank God I did that!’.

This year has been a year of a lot of ups and downs, and while all that was happening my relationship with wine grew deeper and I now have a new-found love: Champagne.  My relationship with champagne this year has flourished and I’ve enjoyed every bottle I’ve popped.

I have gained some friends and I have lost some along the way.  I struggled this year in every aspect of my life.  In my personal relationships, my friendships, with my family and with work.  All year I felt like I was drowning and I couldn’t hide it, but I couldn’t fix it.  I had to fight the waves and while it took its tolls, I think I’ve made it through.  I’m just waiting for those aftershocks to pass through.

While 2017 was me weathering the storm, 2018 I plan on being the storm (in a positive way). I wanted to take the time to remind myself of all the experiences and fun times I did get to enjoy this year.

This time last year, I was ringing in the new year with 30 friends and family at an epic pajama party in my house.  It was just FUN.  How a new year should start off.


Against my best financial judgement, I traveled to Iceland.  It was an amazing experience and I am so happy I went as I knew I would never get that opportunity again.  It was only 4 days, but we packed them full of excitement.


My bridesmaids threw me an amazing bachelorette.  They knocked it out of the park and I was happy to have some college besties make it out as well.


I spent a couple of nights down at the beach with a bottle of champagne, watching the sunset.  It is something that we take for granted and don’t tend to appreciate.

My MOH threw me a surprise bridal shower.  I said I didn’t want one but she went out of her way to help plan a little one for me and it was very thoughtful.

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I got married! It almost killed me but I planned an epic wedding.

I brought my family together.  My siblings and I have not all been together in probably close to 5 years.  While it was short-lived, it happened and it meant a lot to me.


I spent some fun weekends away with some amazing people and enjoyed several concerts. Ed Sheeran, Dallas Smith, Halsey.

Even though it rained a lot this summer, I enjoyed my sports and those I played with!

The classic wine show.  I think it’s been a 5 year tradition now to go and it’s always my b-day weekend.  Never a bad time.

I got to sit back and enjoy other friends getting married.

I threw another epic New Years party to ring in the new year.

It will be a different year, full of different experiences. New friends and old. There are plenty more bottles to pop and happy memories to go with them.


Cork Board Photo Frames

I’ve been a little under the weather this week which has pushed me to slow down and spend some more time at home.  So last night I decided to organize my craft room a little bit.  It’s been driving me nuts as I’ve just been shoving things everywhere and there’s no rhyme or reason to anything.

I’ve got stickers, ribbons, markers, everything and it’s hard to sort through.  I found these wooden sticks that I broke off hangers laying around.  I decided to take some ribbon, hang them up and put all my ribbon roles on the sticks.  They’re hanging from the hanger bar in the closet.


I also found some square cork boards that I forgot I got awhile ago from the Dollarstore.  I’ve been sitting on some photos from the Toronto Food and Wine Show that I’ve been dying to do something with.  So I pulled them all out and threw them on the floor and continued my scavenger hunt through my stuff.  I’ve got a big box of ‘Stuff’  that I just throw everything ‘crafty’ in.


Got some new Heidi Swap Ribbon from the clearance section at Michael’s the other day and thought, what a better time to use it than with my cork board picture frame I wanted to make.



I laid out my photos in the best way I could find they would fit on the boards and picked the ribbons I wanted to use.



I then started to wrap the ribbon around the cork board to best hold the photos in place.  I just had to staple the ribbon to the back of the board.  To make sure they stayed as even as possible I used a ruler to measure the ribbon on each corner and to ensure it was placed evenly down the middle on both boards.


Cork Board

I added the photos and put a little tape on the back of each to ensure they stay in place.  I’m not sure how well the tape will hold but hopefully it’s enough between the tape and the ribbon.


Cork Board

And below is the final product of the two.  Just need to find the perfect place to hang them now 🙂


Cork Board Photo Frames


Unconventional Thank you’s

So our wedding day has finally come and gone.  It was definitely the most stressful year of my life.  I have never been more up and down than I have been this past year and it was all consuming.  After all the planning, fun times and stressful ones as well we had a perfect day.  I could not have asked for it to have gone any more flawlessly.

So I’m a bit behind as my life hasn’t slowed down like I thought it would. I’m just getting around to my thank you’s now and I know they should have gone out a month ago.  As we are now entering Christmas time, I wanted to do something completely different.  Our amazing photographer’s were able to capture almost every single guest at our wedding and take some awesome photos of them.


So I’ve taken an afternoon to write out 50+ personalized Christmas cards.  In each card I am sending the photo’s that the photographers were able to capture of our guests.  I am also sending out a photo of us from our wedding as well.  I think it’s a nice touch that they will get to keep the photo’s of them, because who really wants photos of us? (Kidding)


So I also attempted to put my calligraphy skills back to work.  I haven’t done calligraphy since my wedding invites went out.  So because I already had a pretty intense hand cramp from the cards, my calligraphy was not good at all.  I also didn’t ensure my lines were straight because I really just needed to get them written.  So my attempts were there and hopefully people appreciate that still.


Lastly, I bought this cool stamp from the calligraphy store.  I attempted to use it when I sent the invites out but again, wasn’t successful.  I’ve made a second attempt at a wax seal and hope this adds the final personal touch we were looking for.

These were rushed as I knew I wouldn’t have time to continue to focus on these and the clock is ticking on Christmas.  Hope the efforts are still appreciated by those receiving them!


Small note to self and anyone else who is going through the efforts of personalizing Thank you cards to be sent out to all their guests, do everything in alphabetical order!  I definitely learned this lesson the hard way but not alphabetizing my envelopes, cards and then finding the corresponding photos.  I spent way more time on this than I probably needed to if I had done everything alphabetically.  I enjoyed the process and am happy to finally be done the last steps of my wedding.


Femme Fatal Fantasy Football

So the ladies and I decided to start a ladies fantasy football league.  This is our second successful year and we’ve even expanded the league. Even though I don’t watch or follow football I’m having fun learning and trying to get into it.  As many of us are learning and we’ve created this league to bring us together more, our commissioner created some amazing instructions on how a fantasy league works.  As she did such an amazing job, I thought they should be shared with other ladies looking to do the same  don’t need to know football to join a league and fantasy leagues aren’t just for boys!

Fantasy Football

As we are in year two, we’ve decided it’s time to give our league a name and create a trophy for the winner.  It’s not official yet but I think so far we’ve decided on Femme Fatal Fantasy.  Something along those lines.  So being the crafty one that I tend to be sometimes I volunteered to make us a trophy.  As you may learn, I tend to enjoy the odd bottle of wine or champagne.  And with every bottle I open, I keep the corks.  I am always finding corks every time I dig through any of my purses.

So I set out to trying to design a trophy that represents the league, has a girly feel, and encompasses football.  I headed off to Walmart because I knew I needed a nerf football, what  I was going to do with it, I wasn’t sure yet.  So I found my football, perfect size and all.  Colours were not my style so I had to pick up some spray paint.  I decided on black because I wanted to bejewel the thing and I thought the jewels would pop better on black.

Next we had to hit up the dollar store to get some bejewling items and any other possible inspiration. So I get home and I start looking around my house and in my craft supply box to see what I can use.  I have a wine decanter collecting dust on my shelf (the wine doesn’t last long enough to decant) and I think, this could be the perfect stand for my football.

In my craft room I have one slab of wood left from my wedding centre pieces.   Very rustic and cute and I decide this is the perfect base for the trophy.  Sooo now I have a million corks hanging around because I have all these grand crafting plans.  So I fill the decanter up with corks.

I decided to use the jewels to look like laces on the football.  Somehow I got lucky and had the perfect amount available. 

Glued my decanter to the slab of wood, added some jewels to the decanter and cut a circle in my football, added some glue and glued it to the top of the decanter.

I added more jewels around the top because you really can’t have too many, can you?  I also felt like you couldn’t have too many corks on display either.  Popping bottles is a full time job in my world so there’s never a shortage.

I used a different wine cork for each part of the outter area and made sure all the names were facing outwards.  I glued the corks around the entire perimeter of the decanter and added a bow to tie it all together.  And when I was done, this was my final product:

I hope this post has been helpful for anyone looking to participate in a ladies fantasy league and wish me luck in winning mine so the trophy can be displayed in my own home.  It’s too pretty I don’t want to have to part with it ❤️😊